Originally posted by kirei_na_me

On another note, when my husband and I started dating, he always held my hand in public, kissed me in public, put his arm around me, etc., because he said he felt he could do it more openly here than in Japan. Maybe around Tokyo, people do that, but my husband is more from the country, and to him, he didn't feel completely free to showing his affection in public at all, and was happy to do so here.
Same for my wife. Well, now she doesn't mind showing affection in public, but it depends a bit on her mood. I've seen lots of Japanese teens holding hands, hugging or kissing in the street in Tokyo. The younger, the easier.

Personally, it's the expressionlessness that is an ongoing problem for me. To me, the Japanese don't communicate at all. At least, not as far as I'm concerned. They might on a superficial level, but I think it is somewhat rare for them to have in depth conversations, and genuinely express themselves, and tell their true feelings. You know, how many times have I heard "well, I don't want to tell you about bad things" and stuff like that. They are constantly worrying about what the other person thinks. I mean, that's good sometimes, but sometimes, it just doesn't work and comes off as being phony.
This is because Japanese can't express their negative feelings. They expect other people to understand. That's the tougher part and I also feel disconcenrted. It's important to see that if a Japanese doesn't express his/her feelings with some eagerness, they are not feeling vey positively about the situation. If you ask someone if they want to do something, they should almost applause your idea to show they agree. If they don't say anything and say "yes" in a covert voice, it almost certainly means "no". But it's not good in Japanese culture to express negative emotions, so that they just shut up and won't speak abou it even if you ask again and again how they feel about it. Silence means trouble, and it's up to the other party to find what is the problem and change the situation.

Men have usually more difficult to express their feelings and easier to express logical ideas, but that's universal, not peculiar to Japan.