You all find it hard as a man in Japan but you try being a foreign wife of a Japanese man! That's even worse.

Just to clarify, i started learning Japanes ein year 8 in high school (when i was 13) and maintained an interest right up until now. I completed a 1 year diploma and then went to university for 4 years with Japanese language and culture as my major. So i am by no means ignorant of Japanese culture and customs. I also speak very good Japanese. I also studied up on all the little do's and don'ts before i went to Japan with my husband so as not to embarrass him nor make a fool of myself.

Someone on this thread mentioned that women in Japan are not treated very highly. Boy is that an understatement! My husband's family all knew my study history and knew i could speak Japanese very well, but when they wanted to know something about me, they always ask my husband about it, not to me, even when i am there in front of them. He asks me, and in some instances i have replied directly to them, but they still wait for my husband to give them the answer! The last time we went to Japan and this happened again i got so angry at my husband and told him that basically, in my eyes, he wasn't supporting me very well. He should say to them "well, she speaks and understands Japanese well, so why don't you ask her, not me?" but he said to say that would be very impolite, especially as they are older members of his family. Well hello but i'm his family too!

At other times we have visited his former colleagues and most of the time they ignore me. I have only experienced one time where the guy engaged in conversation (in japanese) with me. They talk about me like i don't exist. I also was expected to stay at home with the in-laws while my husband went out for drinks with his friends. In my country (australia) wives go out with their husbands for drinks with the friends, we don't get shut away in the closet at home like a hermit.

I also hate the thing in Japan where when you sit next to someone on the train, they get up and move. My husband says it's because i'm non-japanese and they can't speak english and they are afraid i might speak to them and they won't be able to understand or respond. Is it really that scary?? I've sat next to Chinese people or non-Australians in china, and i didn't feel scared even though i don't speak chinese! Just because i sit next to someone doesn't mean i want to talk to them. What kind of weirdo do you take me for? I'm no stalker!

I have a lot of criticisms of Japanese people and not only in Japan. Especially when they come to my country i feel very annoyed. They seem very rude, especially in supermarkets, they do not say excuse me when they want to get past, they just squeeze past me, and if they knock me or step on my toe, they never say sorry. They might not speak english, even if they don't, would it hurt to just acknowledge you stepped on my toe? I don't think it's so hard.

I also find alot of Japanese tourists, especially when travelling to tourist destinations ignore the rules either because they can't understand, or they just can't be bothered and are too busy talking. I was on the ferry to rottnest island and the captain told us explicitly to stay seated until the ferry had docked. As soon as the ferry was near to docking all the Japanese stood up and rushed to the exits, but because the ferry was still rocking some of them fell over and hurt themselves, then blamed the ferry people, when in fact it was their fault because they didn't listen. There are so many instances like this, and i'm not out to get the Japanese, because half my family are Japanese now, and i'm married to one, but i guess i just am more aware of how annoying and ignorant these people are. God forbid if i ever have to live in Japan, which is likely, as my husband is the first and only son (meaning he has to look after his parents)! I know that i would hate living in Japan full-time. They are so backwards. With all their technological advances, my mother in law doesn't even have a bath/shower or even an oven!

Anyways, that's my rant. But you guys have it easy. At least they are speaking to you if even only about chopsticks! I get totally ignored!