Why do Japanese talk so much about marriage ?

[GaijinPunch]

I definitely agree with you about that! I would've never even considered going to Hawaii on my honeymoon, just because every other newlywed Japanese couple goes there. I don't like doing anything that everybody else is doing

tell me about it. I got married on Kauai, mainly b/c it was the only place to have a 2-person wedding in style. In Japan, that just means the piece of paper, and I didn't want to do that. Kauai was nice, but Honolulu was of course a tourist trap (Waikiki). In short, we didn't like it. 1-year later, the freakin' office moved there (here) and my wife already talks about moving back to Japan... we just moved here in October.

Interestingly, Japanese people do not speak much about divorce,

My wife must be the exception. (see above). Haha.

[budd]

"The US has the world's highest rate of divorce, but European countries have a similar or even lower rate than Japan."
it didn't make sense to me neither but it sounded good. sorry about that

"Interestingly, Japanese people do not speak much about divorce, as if they thought it would never happen."
exactly

"That made me think that Japanese do not care enough about what's really important, and prefer talking only about their gorgeous wedding party and what age they should get married."
still sounds like america to me
50% of the available magazines @ the health club were bridal/brides or something

[GaijinPunch]

still sounds like america to me
50% of the available magazines @ the health club were bridal/brides or something

Haha -- no joke. I went to a Christian University for a year my freshman year. One of my friends was waiting for a chick in the girls dorm. There was a book there on the end table called "You and Your Wedding". *shudders*

[Maciamo]

"That made me think that Japanese do not care enough about what's really important, and prefer talking only about their gorgeous wedding party and what age they should get married."
still sounds like america to me
50% of the available magazines @ the health club were bridal/brides or something

Do Americans usually have wedding parties in 5-star hotels or similarily expensive reception rooms ? Do many Americans have their wedding abroad (or in Hawaii) ? In the last three month, Japanese aquaintances of mine have told me about maybe 8 wedding parties they went to, and 3 of them were in Hawaii (one in the Sheraton on the Big Island, and over 20 guests who came on purpose from Japan).

Weddings can be quite different depending on the country in Europe, but in my family's case it is normal to have the wedding at home or if there is no space (rare case) in a restaurant or public hall in the area. It doesn't have to be luxurious because we don't invite people from work at all. No boss, no colleagues (except if they are very good friends)... just the family and a few best friends (not like my wife's case, where over 60 friends were invited and nearly 50 came).

Just imagine the cost of what you have to give back by attending all your friends' wedding parties. As there are often 2 or 3 receptions in one day in Japan (from the most formal with the boss, etc. to the least formal with intimate friends only), the best friends are expected to attend the 2 or 3 of them and pay something like 2x 30,000yen (2x 300US$) and 10,000yen (100US$) = 70,000yen. That's just for one day and one friend ! My wife has on average 7 wedding parties a year (sometimes 3 in a single month) and I sometimes also attend when I know her friend well. Just count that if she goes to 50 wedding parties in total, even if she attends only 1 ceremony that is 50 x 30,000yen = 1,500,000yen (+ the clothes she buy sometimes only to attend those wedding parties, and that are more expensive than usually clothes).

Let's say that 2,000,000yen (20,000US$) is what (young) Japanese people usually spend on their friends wedding parties. I don't think my wife is an exception for having so many friends. ALL the Japanese women with whom I spoke about wedding parties have as many friends and wedding parties to attend (of course I don't speak about weddding parties with all the people I know...).

[noodle]

Do Americans usually have wedding parties in 5-star hotels or similarily expensive reception rooms ? Do many Americans have their wedding abroad (or in Hawaii) ?

really only if they can afford it. >__> i think the most general thing you could say about american weddings is that people have weddings that suit them. i've been to cheap, simple (and quite lovely) weddings and more lavish, dinner-for-every-guest weddings. there are certain things that are frequently the same but people like to add their own personality to the whole thing. of course, many cultural groups still have weddings according to their own customs.

chinese do something similar to japanese... you are pretty much required to bring money as a guest. a friend of mine couldn't go to her friend's chinese wedding banquet because she couldn't afford it.

hawaii boring and ordinary? hehe... my boyfriend complains the opposite- all other places are uninteresting because he grew up there and nothing compares to the scenery there. but i guess that's quite different from only visiting the more touristy sections.

[xerxes99]

Do Americans usually have wedding parties in 5-star hotels or similarily expensive reception rooms ?
I've been to a lot of weddings in the US and I've seen everything from weddings in a garden that cost like $100 to $150,000 extravaganzas in 5 star hotels.

Let's say that 2,000,000yen (20,000US$) is what (young) Japanese people usually spend on their friends wedding parties. I don't think my wife is an exception for having so many friends. ALL the Japanese women with whom I spoke about wedding parties have as many friends and wedding parties to attend (of course I don't speak about weddding parties with all the people I know...).

I find that incredible. You would certainly bring a gift to a wedding, but nothing like that.
Has anyone else been to a wedding where they do the dollar dance? this might be just a southern thing. the men give cash, usually a $20 or more to dance with the bride. And the women give to dance with the groom. Although the reverse is true too lol. I've just started seeing this in the last few years.

[nurizeko]

"buying a house" for British people,

Ahmen, everytime on british TV its either a house buying program, a house improvement program, or some other program about a career couple buying and selling property and argh, it gets under my skin.

And i can vouche that japanese think about marriage way too often, my girlfriend thinks of it fairly often, and im just like "listen, i love you, you love me right?, whats the rush?, were 20 years old, and i havnt got a clue what the future holds so instead of worrying about it all the time, lets concentrate on enjoying each others company, and appriciating life, since at 20 theres more important things then the wedding that may or may not occur, i want to get married to you oneday, and i can see that future, but it doesnt need to be poked and prodded at all the time", but god knows, she still goes on about marriage.