jt9258: I'm going to try to help you out a bit by pointing out when kusojiji answered your questions and elaborating on some of it...

jt9258 said. "I respect your opinion, though could you offer an explanation as to why you feel that what I wrote to be BS?"

kusojiji said. "Japanese people are *gasp* human beings, despite what the impulse to dramatize and alienate would lead some to believe. It's a weakness that ought not be indulged."

My opinion. Basically jt9258. Every time you ask kusojiji to explain himself, it is repetitive. Because he already summarized that you aren't being fair by categorizing all Japanese people into one mindset. Everytime he tells you that your views are BS, and you ask why, it's always going to point back to the idea that so long as you keep labeling people, that he won't take much value in the things you're saying. You can't just say things like. "I have never constructed anything, why would I do this when the main reason for understanding, and researching the culture, was to better understand my Japanese wife, and she is definately not like any women I have been involved with in the country I an from." and not expect it to be upsetting. Because think about this statement for a moment. You honestly expect people to believe that every Japanese woman (when it probably isn't even most,) is exactly the same? Outlook on love, outlook on marriage, outlook on life in general. Yet not a single woman in your country of origin outside of Japan acts anything like a Japanese woman? You make matters harder on yourself when you say things like this...

"Yes! There are warm loving relationships in Japan, but its not to say, that either partner is Japanese." and also. "Yes! There are long-lasting marriages, and tight-knit families here, though it does not mean that the husband does not have a mistress, or does not visit hostess bars, or soaplands etc."

That's kind of harsh. Whether you meant to be rude or not. You just outright said that no Japanese person, male or female alike, can function in a loving relationship. Whether both partners are Japanese or not. Furthermore, you portray all Japanese men as unfaithful to their wives. It's one thing to say that most Japanese men (whether it is true or not, I do not know) are unfaithful. Yet to say that a man of any country, whether Japanese or otherwise, does not have any ability to be faithful. Is very insulting to that race and culture. jt9258, are you from a country where all men are faithful to their wives? If so, you might want to let that secret out of the bag for the sake of the ladies. I bet many of them will want to start husband hunting there.

jt9258 said. "Ok! So if omiai does not always carry the expectation of marriage, then can you offer an explanation as to what the expectations are?"

kusojiji said. "In countries all over the world friends and family members introduce loved ones to people in the hopes of making a match, and have since the beginning of time."

My opinion. Well, you both agree that omiai means to make a match. What you're overlooking jt9258 is that kusojiji already told you that there isn't anything new in matching people up. Whereas the English word for it is match-making, Japanese apparently call it omiai. Though it doesn't mean the people are destined to get married. You gave an example of this yourself. "my wife also said that she has had two of these meetings in the past, though as she had no image of what marriage life could be, she was not interested, but more importantly she did not really want marriage." Well, that is contradicting. Cause you said omiai is only for marriage-minded people. Maybe someone might want to settle down and welcome help friend peers, family, or even dating services. Yet it doesn't mean they're going to get married. They are probably just looking for help to find friends, romance, love, as well as marriage. But not exclusively on the latter. If you managed to read the demographics I posted earlier, you'll notice that marriage as a business proposition is not as popular in Japan as you make it out to be. Still the same, there are women in America whom proposition marriages on a financial basis. We call them gold diggers. Which goes right back to kusojiji's point. That no matter where you go, you're going to see the same things in people. Thus, if there are plenty of gold diggers in America. That must mean there are plenty of romantic and faithful people in Japan. To say or pretend otherwise is just upsetting and enfuriating.

jt9258 said. "would not happen in the country I am from" and "Yes! Japanese people are human beings, though there thinking in the majority of cases is 180 degrees the opposite to western thinking."

My opinion. Again I have to ask. What country are you from exactly? Don't answer this question though if you don't want me finding substantial evidence that the negative things you have said about Japanese people applies also to people of your homeland. Cause I consider myself a crafty researcher. I will find the similarities of both good and bad between nihonjin and any country you pick on the globe.

jt9258 said. "Could you offer an explanation as to why you feel that my statements are stupid?"

Again. Asking this is likely testing kusojiji's patience. Because until you realize that all people aren't the same, and stop making Japanese people sound like their practices are so alien to western countries, you're just going to keep underminding the first point kusojiji already made to you. That being. "Japanese people are *gasp* human beings, despite what the impulse to dramatize and alienate would lead some to believe. It's a weakness that ought not be indulged."

Hopefully this helps put things into perspective for you jt9258.