Quote Originally Posted by Silverpoint
I like the reasoning in your post and agree with a number of points you make. My only real disagreement would be with the above quote.

I sometimes find when walking down the street that a fellow gaijin (by which in this example I mean white foreigner, who I don't know) coming the other way will give a little nod of recognition as they walk past, which is exactly the "we are both white [guys in Japan]" that you mentioned above. Interestingly there are also those that clearly don't want to associate with the other foreigner and will go out of their way to avoid eye-contact with you. Although you could argue that this in itself is another form of recognition that we are of the same group.

To extend this further (the one-step removed family member example you quoted) my wife actually came home a few weeks ago with a can of baked beans which was given to her in a bar by an English guy she met, who thought I might appreciate them simply because I'm a fellow Brit. He had recently been home and picked up some food. Why he happened to be carrying it at the time I don't know, but I do know that despite not knowing me, or ever having met me, he still felt able to make such a gesture.
Your second example is certainly closer to mine than your first one. I was talking about a third person involved in the process, not just between two people, as you pointed out. I can see it between two people when they directly have contact with each other, but it really struck me as odd to just say "give your mother my regards" without ever having met her. Even your example seems more acceptable to me, maybe because it's more of someone giving a sense of home to someone else than just giving a "what's up?" of sorts. Although, your example does strike me as a bit odd as well. Maybe it's just me and the type of persone I am.