Are Japanese more hypocritical with foreigners ?

[grapefruit]

Actually, my father doesn't wait for other family members either.... So, to me, Azuma_Fujin's in-law father does not sound that strange. I can imagine Japanese middle-aged men behaving in this way in private, informal settings (but not on public, formal occasions).

Your mother in law may be subservient, but the majority are not. Most women have control over most things that go on in the household.... And please don't try to take that as me saying your mother in law is not subservient.

Aren't there still Japanese men who want their wives to quit their jobs once they get married? Aren't Japanese women still expected to cook for their family members? So, I am not sure about claiming that most Japanese women have control over most things that go on in the household, especially with Japanese women of 50 years old or above.

[becki_kanou]

Just to play devil's advocate a bit here, but most of the older generation (50/60) of Japanese women I personally know, have a much better deal than the men. They make the breakfast and lunch in the morning, finish up the housework in the A.M. and then have the rest of the day to relax, play golf, have lunch with friends and take all kinds of fun classes and lessons while their husbands are slaving away at the office all day.

I know this isn't true of all Japanese women, but it seems like they don't get such a raw deal to me. Add to that the fact that they mostly control the finances and make most of the major household decisions and it sounds pretty good. I'm not at all saying that sexism doesn't exist, as it most certainly does, especially in business and the workforce, but I've seen many more かか� 天下 type families than 亭主関白 types.