For our Japanese readers : Things you should not say to Westerners

**undrentide** · Jan 13, 2009, 22:08

Originally Posted by Glenski

BTw, i think Japan has five seasons.
There are 24 seasons in the Japanese calendar .

More self-contradictory gibberish.
5 vs 24? Pick.

The first sentence seems to be caster's own idea, and I think caster is referring to 二十四節気 with the second one.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Solar_term
(Actually it originally came from China, so it is not "Japanese calendar", to be precise...)

Sorry, this post is off-topic-ish, and and the above is just an observation, I'm not particularly for or against caster's opinion about the seasons in Japan.

**FrustratedDave** · Jan 14, 2009, 11:45

Originally Posted by A ke bono kane kotto

You are assuming that a foreigner in Japan cannot live there as if he were "home". Foreigners in Japan, like in any other country, can also buy their house in Japan and be part of society, as opposed to temporary guests or tourists.
I was born and grew up in a different country from where I have lived for half of my life until now. I find it offensive that people would think that I am just a guest after so many years. That is why I sympathise with the OP.

No I didn't as I own my house and land here in Japan. And just to clarify the OP had lived here for about 3 years when he made the thread, so yes telling people how to act is arrogant. In the real world people who live here and have equal ability in spoken Japanese as a native will very rarely be asked a lot of these questions. The problem is those with accents or broken Japanese will ultimately be thought of as someone who has lived here for a limited time or was not brought up here. So don't try and shift the blame on to the Japanese for a forienger being treated the way they are.

Originally Posted by A ke bono kane kotto

Do you really have to learn and practise to be able to eat sushi or be used to different seasons ?
Anyway the OP made some point about the way the Japanese should ask their questions and proposed better alternatives. I think that it is praiseworthy. I agree that I would be at a loss if someone asked me if I could eat fish. Can I, if you defy me ? Do I like fish in general ? What fish in particular ? Do I want to eat some now ? I wouldn't know what to think and how to answer such a question.
So how did you answer the questions ? Say, if you have never eaten natto and people asked you if you could eat it, what would you answer ? Well, I suppose that you had better try all kind of foods quickly if you didn't want to answer "I don't know" every time you were asked.

What do you expect? Small talk is in every society and just b/c the small talk of most Japanese does not sit with you well it is nessecary to explain to them about what they should and shouldn't ask. And if you have not tried natto and you haven't you would answer "I haven't eaten it yet, what does it taste like?", or "what is it?".

I am starting to wonder if it would be safe to ask you any questions at all. How would you answer to a question like this "Do you like scuba diving?" If you have not done that how would answer? You point is ridiculus on being asked question you don't know how to anwser, I mean why bother even talking then? Maybe you could like write on your forehead, "Only ask questions that I know the answer too". Or "only talk about stuff I want to talk about".

Everytime you meet new people, you are inevetably going to induce the same line of questioning in most cases.

Originally Posted by A ke bono kane kotto

I haven't lived in Japan, but I would be annoyed if people always asked me the same questions all the time. When I visited the country I was asked such questions by a lot of people I met. It must get tiring after a while. I don't think that is a sensible way to socialise.
Come on, 90% of Westerners come from temperate regions with 4 seasons. If you come from Florida or Arizona you are really the exception rather than the rule. All Europe is temperate.
Do you ask Japanese people what they can eat and can't eat ? I would ask people what are their favourite dishes or what they dislike in general, but not be specific about a dish (let's say spaghetti vongole) and ask everyone I meet if they can eat it.

It is not about what you would or would not ask. What people decide to talk about when small talk is taking place is part of this culture, what I mean is that food and whether is a very big part of this culture so it is only natural that Japanese will want to talk about it, especially to someone from another country.

**starlitdreams2** · Aug 6, 2009, 14:54

Originally Posted by FrustratedDave

No I didn't as I own my house and land here in Japan. And just to clarify the OP had lived here for about 3 years when he made the thread, so yes telling people how to act is arrogant. In the real world people who live here and have equal ability in spoken Japanese as a native will very rarely be asked a lot of these questions. The problem is those with accents or broken Japanese will ultimately be thought of as someone who has lived here for a limited time or was not brought up here. So don't try and shift the blame on to the Japanese for a forienger being treated the way they are.

What do you expect? Small talk is in every society and just b/c the small talk of most Japanese does not sit with you well it is nessecary to explain to them about what they should and shouldn't ask. And if you have not tried natto and you haven't you would answer "I haven't eaten it yet, what does it taste like?", or "what is it?".

I am starting to wonder if it would be safe to ask you any questions at all. How would you answer to a question like this "Do you like scuba diving?" If you have not done that how would answer? You point is ridiculus on being asked question you don't know how to anwser, I mean why bother even talking then? Maybe you could like write on your forehead, "Only ask questions that I know the answer too". Or "only talk about stuff I want to talk about".

Everytime you meet new people, you are inevetably going to induce the same line of questioning in most cases.
It is not about what you would or would not ask. What people decide to talk about when small talk is taking place is part of this culture, what I mean is that food and whether is a very big part of this culture so it is only natural that Japanese will want to talk about it, especially to someone from another country.

in USA, I regularly get asked, especially by stranger men, if my blonde hair is real as opposed to colored. Not only is this overpersonal, rude,and embarassing but no one asks if a brunette's hair is really brown or black although many brunettes have colored hair! This prejudice is upsetting to natural blonde haired teens and women-- as are the blonde jokes. Any questions or jokes that single out "foreigners" are equally rude and embarassing to them, so those questions should be rephrased or stopped. Period. End of story.