Quote Originally Posted by misa.j
When you and your wife were planning for the wedding, did your preference get taken as an option?
Yes. My only condition was "no church, no chapel, no priest (not even fake)". I didn't mind a Shinto shrine, but she didn't want lol.
For the rest, I left everything up to her as I didn't care much about the ceremony, so that was ok.

I feel bad for you that you had to have the wedding left you negative memory. I would assume you made a lot of compromise for your wife, though I think should you have been more sturbborn and clear about what you liked to your wife, your wedding must have been closer to your style.
I don't feel bad about the wedding. If I had wanted to have one particular type of wedding, I would have insisted (and there is no way she could have won ), but as anyway the ceremony was in Japan and my family and friends were in Europe, and that I didn't mind not having a ceremony at all (like many men, even Japanese it seems), that was no problem. Actually it was just a 2h party with lots of games, dances, karaoke, etc. all in a lavish place and great food, and I didn't have to pay a penny. So I can't complain. On my side, we only invited my parents, as it would be too much trouble for the other to come to Tokyo at their expenses AND pay 30,000yen, just for 2h. I also don't really have to attend her 50 friends' weddings (just a few for those I know best).

Quote Originally Posted by budd
"Do Americans usually have wedding parties in 5-star hotels or similarily expensive reception rooms? Do many Americans have their wedding abroad (or in Hawaii)?"

yep. the ones i know do --
Now I remember that some people in my family had rented a castle for their weddings. However I think it's cheaper than a the hotel's wedding rooms in Tokyo, although much more prestigeous. I guess Japanese would be ready to pay tens of millions to rent such as castle, were it be be found in Japan. But where I come from each village (say 1,000 inhabitants) has in average two castles...