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View Poll Results: Would you stay with someone you (really) love if (you knew that)...

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  • he/she cheated on you

    12 15.38%
  • he/she loved someone else (but didn't do anything) and not you

    4 5.13%
  • he/she loved both you and someone else

    13 16.67%
  • he/she loved someone else of the same sex (homosexual love) in addition to you [or opposite sex for those already in homosexual relationship]

    18 23.08%
  • he/she didn't love you (but not anybody else either), but liked you

    26 33.33%
  • he/she had sex with someone else, but continued to love you at the same time

    16 20.51%
  • he/she really didn't love or like you, but without hating you (just no feeling at all)

    5 6.41%
  • he/she hated you

    5 6.41%
  • Really can't make up my mind - case by case depending on the person and situation

    39 50.00%
  • Other (please specify)

    10 12.82%
Multiple Choice Poll.
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Thread: Would you stay with such a lover ?

  1. #1
    Twirling dragon Maciamo's Avatar
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    Would you stay with such a lover ?

    A relationship thread again. My question is "would you stay with someone you love whatever the circumstances ?" (please choose all the applicable situations)

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  2. #2
    Where I'm Supposed to Be kirei_na_me's Avatar
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    Maciamo, I just love your polls.

    Anyway, this is a tough one. Really, I think it depends on the situation and the people involved. Speaking for myself, though, I would have to say I draw the line at all of those except for maybe the "he/she had sex with someone else, but continued to love you at the same time" and possibly the "he/she loved someone else of the same sex (homosexual love) in addition to you [or opposite sex for those already in homosexual relationship]". I have personal reasons for both of those, but don't feel like getting into that now.

    I think in general, though, it depends on what your boundaries are as a couple. As a couple, you should have set boundaries(some are more open than others, of course), and if those boundaries are crossed, there should be consequences. If there aren't consequences, people's self-respect and self-esteem get damaged, and that's not good.

    I've been on the receiving end and the giving end of all of these situations. In fact, I think I might have done more of these things than had them done to me, which is kind of hard to admit.
    i carry your heart with me(i carry it in my heart)

  3. #3
    Traveler of eternity dreamer's Avatar
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    Dang I'm too young for this XD
    One of the most adventurous things left for us is to go to bed. For no one can lay a hand on our dreams....

  4. #4
    Danshaku Elizabeth's Avatar
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    I think in general, though, it depends on what your boundaries are as a couple. As a couple, you should have set boundaries(some are more open than others, of course), and if those boundaries are crossed, there should be consequences. If there aren't consequences, people's self-respect and self-esteem get damaged, and that's not good.
    Yeah, if there's any doubt about the extent of your liking or loving, unfortunately there's no such dichotomy in real life, how much you're willing to hurt them should be a pretty good test. The Japanese way of trying to keep things under wraps while letting your feelings dictate the proper course rather than talking it out and setting explicit boundaries ahead of time is a good approach, though, in my opinion.

  5. #5
    Dog Youkai playaa's Avatar
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    I definately would have to say this for me depends all upon the person, the circumstances and what exactly happened. As I am lienent, also it would have to be what the "terms" of the relationship were.
    "Kanpeki to chau, jinsei no shuushi
    Puramai zero da nanteba honto ka na?
    Shinu made ni tsukaikiru, un no kazu
    Semete, jibun de dashiire wo sasete
    "

  6. #6
    Hullu RockLee's Avatar
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    For me nothing can do.....My ex screwed me....eventhough I've given her a second chance....so I don't take her back ever again...
    ~ Parempi hullu kuin tylsä - Better crazy than boring ~
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  7. #7
    Dog Youkai playaa's Avatar
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    I think most of us all have that problem in life.

  8. #8
    I jump to conclusions mad pierrot's Avatar
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    I think love and hate are two sides of the same coin.

    I say this because I think it's possible to love someone and hate them at the same time. I know I have.

    I'm going to kick myself for making this reference, but it's kinda like Kill Bill 2...........

  9. #9
    Gag me with a spoon
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    There are few reasons to stay in a relationship. One, equal basis on the sex. Two, financial situation. Three, immagration situations. Four, love.

    Anything in the criteria originally posted, are all things to end the relationship. I mean be real, staying with someone who has no feeling for yourself? Talk about wastes of time. Cheating? I have no sympathy for that. They love me AND someone else? I have one thing to say to that. Bags will be packed and on the lawn by midday.

    I have little patience for such foolery, like cheating, emotionlessness, and other things that are factors in relationships sometimes. More people need to take relationship classes, because its no surprise that a lot of people in relationships dont belong in them, and have no idear what they are doing.
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  10. #10
    Danshaku Elizabeth's Avatar
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    Instead of cheated as a catch-all option how about one of the most common scenarios : He/she tells you they love you but continues an affair/staying married to someone they supposedly just like.

  11. #11
    Dog Youkai playaa's Avatar
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    Elizabeth, I have seen that situation plenty! I have friends all the time who come up and ask about your exact problem.

  12. #12
    Where I'm Supposed to Be kirei_na_me's Avatar
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    Well...that's something I could comment on...but...

  13. #13
    Danshaku Elizabeth's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by playaa
    Elizabeth, I have seen that situation plenty! I have friends all the time who come up and ask about your exact problem.
    Or some variation on it. I'd have to be totally clear on the other relationship to think of staying in a case exactly like that.

  14. #14
    basketballman Dream Time's Avatar
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    I would rather have my girl sleeping with another man and thinking about me ,not the vice versa.

  15. #15
    Where I'm Supposed to Be kirei_na_me's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dream Time
    I would rather have my girl sleeping with another man and thinking about me ,not the vice versa.
    Yeah. Things can get complicated and that can happen even when the girl really doesn't want it(sleeping with someone else) to.

    That's why things really need to be taken on situation by situation basis.

  16. #16
    Traveler of eternity dreamer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kirei_na_me
    Yeah. Things can get complicated and that can happen even when the girl really doesn't want it(sleeping with someone else) to.

    That's why things really need to be taken on situation by situation basis.
    I don't get it...why sleeping with another man if that's not what she wants?

  17. #17
    Gag me with a spoon
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    You people should consider the consquences of staying with someone who cheats.

    Cheaters dont cheat once. They tend to cheat repeatedly. You may forgive one instance, but not know about the 12 others. Oh, but believe me, you'll know it when you wake up one morning and find a disgusting rash on your genitalia.

  18. #18
    Danshaku Elizabeth's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dreamer
    I don't get it...why sleeping with another man if that's not what she wants?
    Yeah, any rationalization and hypocricy like that can only create distance between you. Best to keep things as simple and pure as possible.

  19. #19
    Kongming jeisan's Avatar
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    cheating is a deal breaker. period. the end.
    if it's meant to be love between two people, then no excuse for cheating will suffice. seeya, out the door you go.
    i dont think love comes in to play in a sexual friends relationship or at least it shouldn't. people who choose to upgrade a relationship like that should really think about it first.
    Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.

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  20. #20
    Mad Bee Hatch Rachel's Avatar
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    Hmmmm...Tough one Maciamo.
    Over all I think I would have to deal with it on a case by case basis, life simply isn't black and white no matter how much we want it to be.

    The one exception to this would be if my partner needed something that I couldn't give them. As a bi transexual my life is one big shade of gray, if my partner male or female needed a sexual element I couldn't give them. Then I would have to let them find it else where, its not an easy thing to admit or deal with but when I love some one I want them to be happy. I don't want them to feel chained to me or to keep them from feeling fulfilled.
    If you dont think youll be able to handle the answer then dont ask the question !

  21. #21
    Emperor Gakihito Gaki's Avatar
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    I am an unforgiving person, my imaginary lover shall be tortured for 72 hours and then left to die a slow slow death.
    I Live In Your Toilet, Smells Bad In Here...

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  22. #22
    Co-owner: Jovesca Records EscaFlowne's Avatar
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    Case by Case it would really depend on the person whether they stayed in love or not. But for me i look way down on cheating or whateva when you say you love that person. I mean when you even say the word *Love* it's like that person is number one, you think about them, wanna do stuff togeather, fullfill each other to the tippy top of the heart
    But if you have to find fullfillment somewhere else then... you get my drift.

    I tried love....
    It kicked me in the *** each time so i'm like snoop now.
    "Love is blind, and no friend of mine...."
    "An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast; a wild beast may wound your body, but an evil friend will wound your mind." ~ Buddha
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  23. #23
    Traveler of eternity dreamer's Avatar
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    Lol why bringing back this topic again? ^^'
    I think love's only an illusion, the real thing acting behind is your pheromons
    juz like your emotions depends on your hormons...
    Anyway I'm the kind to forgive really quickly even if it hurt me badly...it's just that...a changed relationship is changed forever ...so I'd stay with the person who cheated on me but only as a friend

  24. #24
    Co-owner: Jovesca Records EscaFlowne's Avatar
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    What happened to the cute squinty eye'd kitty!!!!!

  25. #25
    KAWAII ME Mayura's Avatar
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    it's back tot he old avy! ^^ (yay! no kitty! j/k)

    hmm... I don't think I'd stay with that person... maybe we'll just be good friends... ^^
    *~Mayura~*

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