I want to break this false image Westerners have of the "Japanese wife-servant". Whereas gender roles are clearly defined, Japanese women are far from being servants. Men work hard all day and come back home late. They don't have time or energy to cook and do housework. As women only have to care about houseworks (once children go to school, they haven't much to do all day long, but housework and cooking).
I understand how Westerners would consider unacceptable a situation where the woman is the only one to do the cleaning, washing, ironing, cooking, etc. while the man watches TV, because most Western women work, and their husband might be home at 6pm.
But if the man is home at 11pm and the woman doesn't work at all, it's not to much to expect from her to cook 1 meal and care about house chores. I actually don't know how Japanese men would cope living single by themselves. Women have the "good role" and most are happy to get married just to stop working and use their husband money for their hobbies or care about the children they had longed for.
Kirei na me has it right when she says women have decsional power on the family finances. I was surprised how my own wife turned into a meticulous accountant spontaneously and without training once we started living in Japan (or got married, as it happened at the same time). I've read and heard many times since then that virtually all Japanese woman had this "gift" for "calculation". Marriage is a real business in Japan. Fortunately my wife also believe in love marriage (she says I don't have money anyway
).
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