Radical difference between East and West regarding relationships and marriage

[jt9258]

what about japanese men?

Interesting question! Japanese men are looking for a mother! they are looking for a women who will make a good mother for his children, and to replace his mother, because most Japanese men cannot look after themselves, the relationship they have will be more of a business relationship, in which they live there lives fullfilling there own roles to raise the children, this means that the Japanese man will not view his wife, as an attractive women after child birth, he will only see her as being a mother, so would not consider an intimate loving relationship with her.

This is why many foreigners have problems when being married to a Japanese partner, they both have different expectations of the relationship/marriage, the Japanese partner will expect their partner to act, and behave in a certain way, the concept that a western partner could act, or behave differently than a Japanese partner is hard for them to understand, or even accept. So while the foreign partner is looking at sharing an intimate loving relationship with their Japanese marriage partner, the Japanese partner is not.

When listening to Japanese men of most ages, I found that husbands really do not have any interest in their wives after children, and they regard it strange when a foreigner want's an intimate relationship with there wife, after marriage, and children.
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Today I was lucky enough to raise these questions with a Japanese man, who is married, and has children, and I can say that he showed nothing but disgust, at the thought of having an intimate relationship with his wife.

Im sorry I forgot who said this but I just thought it was interesting! So if the parents and the daughter are question whether the potential husband can provide, my question is what is it like vice versa?

I think I wrote that!

A Japanese man is only expecting his wife to be a mother to him, and his children, though with his work schedule, and social life after work, his wife, and children will not see that much of him, and in many cases will only view him as a nuisance when he is at home, so the only one to really suffer if the wife does not fullfill her role as house wife, will be herself, and the children, though it should be remembered, that most divorces here are started by the women.

p.s. for anyone that can help a silly girl, to directly quote someone on this blog how is that done?(without typing it all myself that is lol)

Copy and Paste, and use the quote button in bottom right of post.

[becki_kanou]

Interesting question! Japanese men are looking for a mother! they are looking for a women who will make a good mother for his children, and to replace his mother, because most Japanese men cannot look after themselves, the relationship they have will be more of a business relationship, in which they live there lives fullfilling there own roles to raise the children, this means that the Japanese man will not view his wife, as an attractive women after child birth, he will only see her as being a mother, so would not consider an intimate loving relationship with her.

This is why many foreigners have problems when being married to a Japanese partner, they both have different expectations of the relationship/marriage, the Japanese partner will expect their partner to act, and behave in a certain way, the concept that a western partner could act, or behave differently than a Japanese partner is hard for them to understand, or even accept. So while the foreign partner is looking at sharing an intimate loving relationship with their Japanese marriage partner, the Japanese partner is not.

When listening to Japanese men of most ages, I found that husbands really do not have any interest in their wives after children, and they regard it strange when a foreigner want's an intimate relationship with there wife, after marriage, and children.
.
A Japanese man is only expecting his wife to be a mother to him, and his children, though with his work schedule, and social life after work, his wife, and children will not see that much of him, and in many cases will only view him as a nuisance when he is at home, so the only one to really suffer if the wife does not fullfill her role as house wife, will be herself, and the children, though it should be remembered, that most divorces here are started by the women.

You certainly take a pessimistic view of the situation. While many of the things you said may very well be true for many people of the older generation who view their relationship as more of a business one than a romantic one, it's not true for all of them. I know many older couples (50s and 60s) who are quite good friends, love to spend time with each other, and have very loving relationships.

For the younger generation I don't think it's really that true at all. All of my married friends in my age range (20s-late 30s) are love matches and they interact together much the same way that Western couples do, laughing and joking together, doing little romantic things together, regardless of whether they have kids or not. It's true that things are still more old-fashioned at home with the wife mostly staying home and raising the kids and the husband working a lot, but that doesn't mean that they don't have a loving relationship.

In fact I'm married to a Japanese man myself and he is the sweetest, most romantic, funniest guy I've met of any nationality (that's why I married him!) He does work long hours, but when he's home we spend our time together enjoying each other's company, going out together, walking the dog together etc.

It's been said before, but people are people regardless of their race or nationality and every single one is different. There may be trends or patterns within a culture, but not everyone is going to fit into that pattern.

[ShadowSpirit]

It's been said before, but people are people regardless of their race or nationality and every single one is different. There may be trends or patterns within a culture, but not everyone is going to fit into that pattern.

Very well stated.

[kusojiji]

Interesting question! Japanese men are looking for a mother! they are looking for a women who will make a good mother for his children, and to replace his mother, because most Japanese men cannot look after themselves, the relationship they have will be more of a business relationship, in which they live there lives fullfilling there own roles to raise the children, this means that the Japanese man will not view his wife, as an attractive women after child birth, he will only see her as being a mother, so would not consider an intimate loving relationship with her.

This is why many foreigners have problems when being married to a Japanese partner, they both have different expectations of the relationship/marriage, the Japanese partner will expect their partner to act, and behave in a certain way, the concept that a western partner could act, or behave differently than a Japanese partner is hard for them to understand, or even accept. So while the foreign partner is looking at sharing an intimate loving relationship with their Japanese marriage partner, the Japanese partner is not.

When listening to Japanese men of most ages, I found that husbands really do not have any interest in their wives after children, and they regard it strange when a foreigner want's an intimate relationship with there wife, after marriage, and children.
.
Today I was lucky enough to raise these questions with a Japanese man, who is married, and has children, and I can say that he showed nothing but disgust, at the thought of having an intimate relationship with his wife.



I think I wrote that!

A Japanese man is only expecting his wife to be a mother to him, and his children, though with his work schedule, and social life after work, his wife, and children will not see that much of him, and in many cases will only view him as a nuisance when he is at home, so the only one to really suffer if the wife does not fullfill her role as house wife, will be herself, and the children, though it should be remembered, that most divorces here are started by the women.

Oh brother...

Categorical statements and sweeping generalizations are rarely conducive to serious, constructive discussions.