How much freedom do you give to your partner ?

[Apollo]

I don't see any problem with going to dinner with someone from the opposite sex, doing activities like sports, or...going to nightclubs with my friends without our "other halves"....

[Maciamo]

I don't see any problem with going to dinner with someone from the opposite sex, doing activities like sports, or...going to nightclubs with my friends without our "other halves"....

Wouldn't be even a bit jealous if your boyfriend/husband had some "romantic" face to face dinner in a French restaurant with another woman (which happens to be a very good friend), or if he went regularily to nightclubs with the same girls/women, or went to a karaoke all-night again with some other woman ?

Personally I already don't like seeing my wife dancing (salsa, etc.) with another man, even if I stand 2m from there (although I let her do, as she would complain that I am too possessive otherwise). Funny as I didn't use to be so jealous a few years ago (but I wasn't married). At the contrary, I didn't care much.

[Apollo]

Wouldn't be even a bit jealous if your boyfriend/husband had some "romantic" face to face dinner in a French restaurant with another woman (which happens to be a very good friend), or if he went regularily to nightclubs with the same girls/women, or went to a karaoke all-night again with some other woman ?

Personally I already don't like seeing my wife dancing (salsa, etc.) with another man, even if I stand 2m from there (although I let her do, as she would complain that I am too possessive otherwise). Funny as I didn't use to be so jealous a few years ago (but I wasn't married). At the contrary, I didn't care much.

Nope, I wouldn't be jealous, because I trust my boyfriend. I am a tomboy myself and have many male friends, and my best (male) friend and I often go to the gym together, and my boyfriend trusts me completely, and don't have problems with it at all.
E.g. I went to my work's Christmas party yesterday, which was cool - and my boyfriend doesn't have problems with me dancing with other males, I work with.

[Brooker]

@Maciamo....
Addressing your concerns...
I had a girlfriend in college whose ex was in town and wanted to see her. Although I was more or less ok with it, it made me feel better that she acknowledged that this was kind of an awkward situation for me. She assured me that she was no longer interested in him, but they'd been close in the past and cared for eachother so she wanted to catch up with him. When he showed up I met him and doing so also made me feel a lot better because he seemed like a decent guy and I didn't get the vibe that he was trying to steal my girlfriend (you can usually tell).

So I would say that you should make an effort to meet these guys. It'll give you a chance to read the situation rather than just sitting at home and worrying about it. You may conclude that these guys are no threat to you or you may conclude otherwise and then you can figure out your next move from there. But at least you'll know. Also, I don't know how these things work in Japan, but it seems like she should acknowledge that this kind of thing might make you feel a little uncomfortable and take steps towards figuring out how to make you more comfortable and still allow her to see her friends.

I sometimes go out for dinner/drinks/karaoke/whatever with an ex girlfriend of mine who I dated many years ago. She has a boyfriend. I've met him several times and a few times we've all gone out together. I could tell he was a little unsure about me at first, but now it seems that he can tell that her and I are just friends and I'm not a threat to him. I've even told her that I think he's a good guy and I "approve" of him. And then there's other factors, like before they were going out, her and I took a roadtrip together where we were sleeping right next to eachother every night and nothing happened. He's gotta figure that if her and I haven't done anything by now that it just isn't going to happen because our relationship just isn't like that. But I don't blame him for being suspicious at first. My relationship with her is kind of unusual (like Elaine and Jerry on Seinfeld) but it is possible for men and women to have a friendship like that (even after dating) it just doesn't happen all the time.

[Uncle Frank]

bed with a dozen nude Chipindales! We both will go to our graves having NEVER cheated.

Frank

[miu]

So what do you think ?

I can relate to your situation quite a bit, actually, because it sounds like my ex and I ^^; He was the quiet type and I was the one who likes dancing Maybe in that kind of a relationship it all boils down to being
able to compromise about things a lot. You need to understand that she needs to be around people and she needs to understand
that some of the stuff she does isn't all that okay with you...

If you try to cut out a lot of her time meeting people and she goes along with it, she starts expecting YOU to fill up the space, which you might
not be able to do (in the same way).
That's my experience and probably one of the major reasons why my ex and I split up. I just started looking for more and more attention because he was the only person I was able to get it from and he grew tired of
entertaining (and vice versa). The thing is, though, that I didn't expect him to be the most sociable person on earth and I wouldn't even have liked
him the way I did at all or loved him as much as I did if he was more of a player.

To me you don't sound like a really bad curfew officer, though, so maybe you should just try to tell her more about how much it bothers you that she spends so much time with other people. It's sad, though, that sometimes you need a really big blow to get the other person to realise how big of a problem soemthing is to you :/
I don't think your wife is being selfish or anything (on purpose anyway), she just maybe doesn't realise how deeply you feel about the situation. Maybe it's because you try to go along with it and she's having fun, so she's not exactly dying to reduce some of it... Well.. I don't know. Realtionships are just so hard @__@


Maybe all relationships just need a lot of effort and the amount of love you have gives you patience and willingness to try.