Wa-pedia Home > Japan Forum & Europe Forum
Page 3 of 4 FirstFirst 1234 LastLast
Results 51 to 75 of 81

Thread: Why do Japanese talk so much about marriage ?

  1. #51
    Back in town JerseyBoy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 31, 2005
    Location
    Tokyo
    Posts
    27
    I remember my dad enjoyed doing ƒiƒR[ƒh‚³‚ñ for weddings. Somehow he liked being a master of ceremony and I recall he came home late at night (I smelled sake as if a taker-full of sake exploded in my home) for those nights when he was doing wedding ceremonies for his colleagues and friends.

    I myself had not been to Japanese weddings as I have been in the States since college (I have been back to Japan for about 12 years). So, I am not aware of what is expected from the guests and hosts. This thread taught me about Japanese wedding etiquette. I am not into weddings and I am sure I won't be thrilled to be invited to weddings (but, in Japan, its society values conformity and if you do something you are not expected to do or do not do something you are expected to do, you are being frowned upon).

    I attended two weddings dinner parties (not the actual wedding in the church but the party thereafter on the same day) in New Jersey and both times, they hosted the party at the large restaurant/catering speciality establishment which can accommodate as many guests as the hosts wish (the wedding parties I went had more than 200 people each time). I am surprised to hear people in the states do the wedding at home because to do so you need a very large house and big yard.

  2. #52
    tsuyaku o tsukete kudasai nurizeko's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 19, 2005
    Location
    aberdeen, scotland
    Age
    34
    Posts
    165
    If you can fit the immediate family into the home of a couple to be married there, i would be surpised.

    I like western weddings, at least the british one, nice and informal, i was not lnog ago at my cousin morags wedding (i know, scottish name, not my idea of pretty but ohwell) and it was in a nice hotel overlooking the sea, a nice small affair.
    Its the only wedding ive ever been to, luckily ive only ever been to one funeral aswell.

    ive yet to experience the horrors of a japanese wedding, i fear more value is given to the prestigue of the event then the actual point of the ceremony, to get married and bond yourself to your loved one.

  3. #53
    Regular Member
    Join Date
    Apr 23, 2005
    Posts
    59
    I think Japanese talk about and maybe do the marriage because there isn't much else to talk about.

  4. #54
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 16, 2006
    Posts
    2

    Marriages and babies

    I live in Japan. I commute to school by train, and i go every where by train. I see a lot of old folks, teenagers, and other people under the age the age of 50. But there is one thing i rarely see. Babies. Only about twice a week, i spot a baby, and also not many couples. Well, its no wonder the media talks about this everyday. The population of children is too low!

  5. #55
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 25, 2003
    Posts
    2

    Japanese wedding and divorce statistics?

    Hello,

    Where can I find Japanese wedding and divorce statistics?

    Do Jap marry more than others?

    Thank you!

  6. #56
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 25, 2003
    Posts
    2

    Asia

    Quote Originally Posted by celtician
    The Japanese are all show, no content so like their brothers in China they Must show off. Even though they hate the Chinese they do the same.

    Think about it




    It's everywhere like this in asia, it's called FACE

  7. #57
    Twirling dragon Maciamo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 17, 2002
    Location
    ¼‹ž
    Posts
    2,434
    Quote Originally Posted by tekfrank
    It's everywhere like this in asia, it's called FACE
    Isn't that just a nicer term for pride ?

    Visit Japan for free with Wa-pedia
    See what's new on the forum ?
    Eupedia : Europe Guide & Genetics
    Maciamo & Eupedia on Twitter

    "What is the use of living, if it be not to strive for noble causes and to make this muddled world a better place for those who will live in it after we are gone?", Winston Churchill.

  8. #58
    Banned
    Join Date
    Feb 5, 2006
    Posts
    111
    I remember my dad enjoyed doing ƒiƒR[ƒh‚³‚ñ for weddings. Somehow he liked being a master of ceremony and I recall he came home late at night (I smelled sake as if a taker-full of sake exploded in my home) for those nights when he was doing wedding ceremonies for his colleagues and friends.
    Question here;

    When you say that your dad was "nakodo" for a wedding, was he the matchmaker of the couple getting married? ’‡l means to be a go-between or matchmaker.

    From what it sounds like from this, he was the MC like you wrote, but if he was the "matchmaker" as well that means something totally different.

  9. #59
    Curious Member
    Join Date
    Feb 10, 2005
    Location
    Hong Kong
    Posts
    2
    um... I find the discussion so interesting ! Personally, my husband and I just registered in the little courthouse in Edinburgh, Scotland, the place we met... we even stopped his parents from going with us. I felt sorry for that as I think they (Japanese parents) may want to attend??
    We think of holding a ceremony back to our home, but then I find myself not really enjoy having it at all, so do my husband. We still think about holding one or not.. for me, I am just worred if his parents would mind if we don't have one.. however, I cannot ask his parents myself as my husband would say they don't ask such thing in Japan.. my husband said they don't care but I really wonder ....

  10. #60
    Resident Realist nice gaijin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 8, 2005
    Posts
    104
    I'm a bit confused, HouseChurchill... You are from Hong Kong and currently reside there, but you just married a Japanese citizen... in Edinburgh? You must get around a lot!

  11. #61
    Curious Member
    Join Date
    Feb 10, 2005
    Location
    Hong Kong
    Posts
    2
    Oh yes, sorry for the confusion. My husband and I got married two years ago, and we have been deciding a place to settle down (HK /Japan). Finally, I decided to move to Japan next summer cox I don't want to be saparated with him anymore. and Yes, it has been a tough time to get around so many times before and I'll be flying to Tokyo tomorrow... so now, I am preparing to move there next summer, I mean psychologically ...

  12. #62
    puzzled gaijin
    Join Date
    Jan 15, 2006
    Location
    Tokyo Japan
    Posts
    140
    Yes, Japanese weddings are something that takes getting used to. My wife and I decided aganist going to one (sending a gift instead) because of the cost involved.

  13. #63
    puzzled gaijin
    Join Date
    Jan 15, 2006
    Location
    Tokyo Japan
    Posts
    140
    Big wedding parties are nothing I favor either. My wife's and my parents wanted them, (and probably my wife, to be honest I don't remember), but I was happy wih no party the first time, so it didn't make a lot of difference to me the second time around. I was always more into smaller gatherings where you could talk with everyone if you wanted to, and get into deeper discussions, rather than just general small talk and move on often to do the same thing with another group of people.

    The up side was a fun party where my wife and I sang, and my father-in-law impressed me with singing opera, and my best mate at the time read out a poem he composed.

    The down side was at the second party in Japan having to try and find a bank machine, because my wife had expected we would receive cash from her parents that day to pay for the izakaya gathering, but her father forgot to bring cash. I forget where the second party was held, but this was in Japan 8 years ago when many bank machines didn't stay open after hours (and no handy ATMS in the convenience stores),so I was rather annoyed and tiffed at being unsuccessful in my forays to get additional cash.

    Luckily, we had enough, otherwise we would have had to been bailed out by our guests (actually, one of the Western guests offered me some money later, just wish I had thought to ask earlier, though a bit embarassing, but it would have avoided looking like I had to go to the toilet all the time)! when I was ducking down the street looking for an ATM that was open!

  14. #64
    Regular Member
    Join Date
    Nov 25, 2003
    Location
    Scotland
    Posts
    3
    I like western weddings, at least the british one, nice and informal
    Are you serious? British weddings are stuffy and boring affairs. I dread 'wedding season' every year. Luckily this year we've only been invited to one so far.
    British weddings are over-organized and have a rigid schedule like a military operation. In other European countries weddings are less structured (just about anyone can make a speech if they feel like it, you don't get kicked out at a set time) and guests are generally more relaxed and enjoy themselves. I've been to weddings in Spain and Italy that were great fun. Most British weddings I've been to have been very formal and dull in comparison.
    We got married in the Caribbean to save money and avoid some annoying relatives that would no doubt have made a huge fuss had they not been invited to our wedding at home. Best decision we ever made.

  15. #65
    Regular Member
    Join Date
    Aug 21, 2006
    Posts
    14
    Back to the top question, some company flames to do so.

  16. #66
    Junior Member bagdeparag's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 22, 2006
    Location
    India
    Age
    45
    Posts
    1
    Did you say, you have pay, to attend the marriage..............

  17. #67
    Twirling dragon Maciamo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 17, 2002
    Location
    ¼‹ž
    Posts
    2,434
    Quote Originally Posted by bagdeparag View Post
    Did you say, you have pay, to attend the marriage..............
    Oh, not so much, about 30,000 yen, i.e. the equivalent of the monthly GDP per capita in India...

  18. #68
    Regular Member
    Join Date
    Aug 21, 2006
    Posts
    14
    Quote Originally Posted by bagdeparag View Post
    Did you say, you have pay, to attend the marriage..............
    Their parent got more likely to prepair for their daughters/sons happier roads, as parents got richer. No couple wants to invite so many people and hold such a crazy expensive event. Any estimate by any company such as hotel, ceremony hall and directer always expensive.

  19. #69
    Junior Member Carlosx2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 27, 2006
    Posts
    3
    Quote Originally Posted by Maciamo View Post
    or "caravan travel" for Dutch people.

    ok lets get this part straight. we do not talk about that at all. here it would be how we except everything and that we are so open minded. Which is not really the case but the politics wants to see it that way.


  20. #70
    Five times to Japan. ArmandV's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 18, 2004
    Location
    Tarzana, California
    Posts
    92
    Quote Originally Posted by Maciamo View Post
    Oh, not so much, about 30,000 yen, i.e. the equivalent of the monthly GDP per capita in India...
    Or roughly $270 U.S.

    For that amount, the least they can do is have a full hosted bar.

    Armand's Rancho del Cielo

  21. #71
    I Love Edison Chen Kana_Star's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 7, 2004
    Posts
    2
    Wow people, most of you have no clue

    First, a wedding is something a lot of girls want and dream about, sorry most of you don't want a big wedding. We are also not the onlt ones that have super expensive weddings. Have you seen the 15 year old parties they make in mexico, and that not even the wedding. People have different traditions. We are not stuck in the old times so don't expect us to have a wedding at a temple.

  22. #72
    a non member
    Join Date
    Feb 5, 2005
    Posts
    133
    We went to St. James club this morning, me and my wife, to plan our wedding ceremony upcoming year. So much fun it is, and today was the day for trying on some wedding dresses.

    We are think about having a western dress first, and then change into Japanese style ... or even Japanese/Dutch style haha.

    Weddings are fun when you have one... when you visit one, it is pretty expensive : 20.000/30.000 Yen

  23. #73
    Regular Member taehyun's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 17, 2006
    Posts
    18

    On the question

    On the question about the marriage

    Until the WW2 the marriage has been a must in the Japanese rural society.As Kunio Yanagita says, the Japanese women have been worried about the difficulties in of their life as wives, but have been even terrified of leaving single. The answer why is given by Laurel L. Cornell in her article "Why there are no spinsters in Japan?" published in No9 of Journal of Family Studies, 1984

    If somebody really is interested in Japanece concept of the marriage, this article can be found on the net, it is worth seeing.
    Wanna walk like a normal human being again

  24. #74
    Regular Member xFumiko's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 3, 2007
    Location
    California
    Posts
    2
    Money, Family.

    Rarely a divorce but my family is Chinese and Japanese but is greatly influenced by the Japanese culture--especially on my mother's side. We are very business orientated and even though the primary reason was a "compatibility", most marriages in our family was for business purposes. Most likely, a "matchmaker" was involved [probably my eldest uncle or my grandmother because my grandfather is deceased].

    It's not too surprising that I too might have to go through an "o-miai"-type deal but I don't mind, really [It's more like, "connections" to the rich and introductions and hopefully they get married]. It just takes time to get used to. Mostly Western type wedding is Love, Sex, Family, then Money. But for my family, it was always Compatibility/Stability, Money, Children. Sounds kind of harsh and greedy, but that's how it is. Even if my grandmother, who is very strictly buddhist, lives modestly, my family is still one huge [evil?] corporation. [laughs].

    I guess it is scary for women to be living single, as taehyun has mentioned, because of the difficulty of supporting whatever children that may have been conceived or even the woman herself. Men are traditionally seen as "working" while women are usually stay-at-home but many business such as my family have the "CEO" or Manager as women. Women are beginning to work more often now which is a good change for many in Japan.

    Art Blog!

  25. #75
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 24, 2007
    Posts
    1
    I do find for some japanese women/ladies "feel" they should marry by certain age before "being seen" too old to be really married by men. But there are those that want to marry later. Whther it is the tradition being married by 28 or whether they marry young or later, it is personal choice and mostly the Chemistry of the couple being"right " for each other. Tottemou daijina koto desu.

    Ichiroll-sama

Page 3 of 4 FirstFirst 1234 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 231
    Last Post: May 9, 2010, 05:17

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •