For our Japanese readers : Things you should not say to Westerners

[FrustratedDave]

Maybe for you. I've been here 10 years and still get people who know me saying how well I use chopsticks and how good my Japanese is, and asking if I can eat certain Japanese foods. Sheesh. Get a grip. These are people who know how long I've been here.

I can make a comment to a friend of mine who Japanese on how beautiful his handwritten Kanji is several times over a period of time and keep doing it, just b/c I am in awe on how good he is. He is Japanese and is expected to write Japanese, so me complimenting him on his beautiful handwritting several times even though it is a given that he can write kanji is an offense to him? I actually thought this would be a compliment.

Can no one take these comments for what they are, instead of reading so deep into them and assume that the other party is showing extreme ignorance on his/her part?

I think ASHIKAGA again made some really good points about this. People should listen to his experiences more as he is on the other side of the coin. People just fail to realise that they themselves do the exact same thing and there home country to foriegners and just not realise they are.
But are so quick to accuse others without looking in the mirror first.

[JimmySeal]

Can no one take these comments for what they are, instead of reading so deep into them and assume that the other party is showing extreme ignorance on his/her part?

I think comments like the ones described in this thread are often taken the wrong way, but there are some that can't be seen any other way than displaying either (a) a considerable degree of ignorance, or (b) a very patronizing manner, such as お箸使えるの？すご〜〜〜い！ when nearly every civilized person in the world can use chopsticks, or うわ� � 。日本語上手！from a new acquaintance, when all you've uttered is はじめまして.

[FrustratedDave]

I think comments like the ones described in this thread are often taken the wrong way, but there are some that can't be seen any other way than displaying either (a) a considerable degree of ignorance, or (b) a very patronizing manner, such as お箸使えるの？すご〜〜〜い！ when nearly every civilized person in the world can use chopsticks, or うわ� � 。日本語上手！from a new acquaintance, when all you've uttered is はじめまして.

But the thing is, I won't say all, but almost all Japanese when they meet someone for the first time it is just commone sense to fire an array of compliments in the manner that you speak. Eg, when people meet and they say how beautiful the other persons wife is even though she may be challenged in that area (� なたの奥さんですか？　わぁ〜〜きれいですね）, or they might commpliment you on something you own even though they don't like it. ect ,ect . Again , I will say that if anyone is taking these kind of comments to heart then you have not fully understood the Japanese culture(Or you have an are unwilling to accept it) or the tiny nuances that come with the language and the fact that they are 9 times out of 10 saying something that is just common sense, not an intent to patronize or a show of ignorance　towards foriegners.

And Jimmy can everyone use chopsticks? I know that 95% of the people in my family can't and I have 53 cousins, 15 aunti and uncles. The ones that can use them are half chinese as my uncle is married to someone who is of chinese decent. My family is of European decent.

[ASHIKAGA]

Iお箸使えるの？すご〜〜〜い！ when nearly every civilized person in the world can use chopsticks, or うわ� � 。日本語上手！from a new acquaintance, when all you've uttered is はじめまして.

Those examples do sound very familiar. I am curious to know what everyone's response would be when finding yourselves on the receiving end of such "compliments".

[FrustratedDave]

Those examples do sound very familiar. I am curious to know what everyone's response would be when finding yourselves on the receiving end of such "compliments".

I personally don't mind at all b/c there is no ill intent what so ever.

[Glenski]

Those examples do sound very familiar. I am curious to know what everyone's response would be when finding yourselves on the receiving end of such "compliments".

Chopsticks compliment:
"It's not that hard."

Language compliment:
"No, not really."

[FrustratedDave]

Chopsticks compliment:
"It's not that hard."
Language compliment:
"No, not really."

I am finding it hard to belive that you do actually like living here?

You have after all been living here for 10 years or more and should realise by now that compliments like these are part and parcel of Japan?

[becki_kanou]

Those examples do sound very familiar. I am curious to know what everyone's response would be when finding yourselves on the receiving end of such "compliments".

I occasionally find it a little annoying to be complimented this way (again), but as someone else said, people are not saying these things out of ill-will, so why get worked up about it?

I usually just brush it off with a まぁ〜 or a それほどでも... but sometimes I'll give a little explantion like 他の国でも日本料理や中華料理が人気なので、お箸を使 える人は結構いますよ。