Why do Japanese talk so much about marriage ?

[miu]

I guess you could partially explain the expensive weddings with status. I mean, most people would probably be wed in a cathedral than in a cardboard house, right? And yeah, there's always that one thing people talk about

And talking about high expectations, I read an article form amagazine where an Indian woman told about ehr arranged marriage. She had lived in the US before marriage, dated guys and so on. She was, however, disappointed with the eternal search "for the one" and eventually went back to India and agreed to marry the man her parents had introduced to her. The interesting par tof this is that she said her marriage worked out because she didn't have any high expectations about her marriage - she just expected her husband to treat her well and support the family etc. This way, there wasn't any "where is the man I married 10 years ago" because she didn't love him at first so there wasn't any drop from cloud nine to reality. They just sort of grew into the relationship and learned to love each other.

I'm not saying that marriying for love is bad, I'm just trying to say that an arranged marriage might not be such a bad thing as long as you're not forced into it. Didn't "love" in Japanese mean passionate love that can fade out pretty quickly more than the kind of love that's usually associated with the Western idea of marriage?

[Suki-Yaki]

You have to pay to attend a wedding ?!!!!!!!

[Maciamo]

I guess you could partially explain the expensive weddings with status. I mean, most people would probably be wed in a cathedral than in a cardboard house, right? And yeah, there's always that one thing people talk about

Yes, but in the cases of most Japanese (at least in Tokyo), they have their wedding in special reception rooms or luxury hotels because their houses is too small for 100 people and often they don't even have a garden. There is no question of status, just parody. People who can't have their wedding at home because it's too small, even for 20 people, or they are too ashamed of their home, they will never have any status to talk about. That is what makes me sad. Like many other things in Japan, it's so sperficial. It's exactly like those girls/women who absolutely want to have their Vuitton bags, as if it gave them more status. Status is much more than having a handbag by Louis Vuitton. If they sacrifice all their salary for brands or get them bought by their boyfriends, etc. that is just above their status. It's very sad that they can't understand that. Same with weddings.

I'm not saying that marriying for love is bad, I'm just trying to say that an arranged marriage might not be such a bad thing as long as you're not forced into it. Didn't "love" in Japanese mean passionate love that can fade out pretty quickly more than the kind of love that's usually associated with the Western idea of marriage?

Good point. I didn't raise the issue of arranged marriage, but it's true that it is at least as common (if not more common) than love marriage. So as not to be misunderstood, arranged marriage in Japan are normally not arranged against the will of the interested. It's more like choosing your ideal partner on a match.com profile, meet them (parents also meet), then decide within weeks which one you marry. That's how things often work in Japan. Few people would get married without their family's consent, and the majority still regard the good relation (including status) of both partners' families as absolutely necessary to get married. This has long been forgotten in most Western families, where the children marry the person they love and not their family.