Why do Japanese talk so much about marriage ?

[DoctorP]

well, I guess I'm just cheap...or I just think differently!

I don't understand why everyone wants to be in a crowded place right after they marry? I took the wife to a resort in the mountains, a little off the beaten path, very quiet and out of the way so that we could start on our children!

[kirei_na_me]

well, I guess I'm just cheap...or I just think differently!

I don't understand why everyone wants to be in a crowded place right after they marry? I took the wife to a resort in the mountains, a little off the beaten path, very quiet and out of the way so that we could start on our children!

I had already started on mine, I guess you could say. I was pushing 6 months when we went...

[Maciamo]

I took the wife to a resort in the mountains, a little off the beaten path, very quiet and out of the way so that we could start on our children!

Funny to see that you also associate marriage with children, like 99,9% of the Japanese.

For me the connection has never been obvious. It's like associating alcohol witha restaurant or video games with a PC. You can have alcohol in a restaurant and you can play games on a PC, but you don't have to and it's is not their main purpose.

For me, marriage means a commitment to someone (not necessairly for life, though), social benefits and some other legal advantages and disadvantages.

Of course it depends a lot on each country's laws. In Japan, there are few social benefits in being married. We can get slightly cheaper health insurance, and get a discount on mobile phone subscription, but that also works for any other familiy member or even non-relative living together. But there are no tax rebates for married couples like in most Western countries.

I think that Japanese associate children with marriage because the laws makes it almost impossible for the father to be recognised without being married. In Western countries (all, I guess ) any child can be recognised outside marriage, and in case of uncertainty or if the father does acknowledge his offspring, by a DNA test (even against the father's will to recognise the child). But genes just aren't that important for the Japanese. The family name, for example, is more important the the DNA itself, so that a family with no sons will ask at least one of their daughter's husband to adopt their name too.

As a student, I would have no way of paying loads of money just to go to someone's wedding. And if they asked me to pay, I'd be probably be offended because they would know I'm a student and not consider my situation at all.

I haven't heard that the Japanese made any exception for students or unemplyed people. They would say you can always ask your parents to pay (and pay them back once you work). As I said above, there is no distinction of fee between the ultra-rich company president and the unemployed. What could happen is that richer people give more than is demanded, as a wedding present (the money demanded is otherwise to pay the wedding itself, not really a present, but necessary expenses).