Quote Originally Posted by nekosasori
Moreover, I have observed that when people gossip about others, this gossip NEVER gets returned to the person about whom it is. This means that friendship, as I define it (where my friends would tell things to be straight even if it bruises my ego) is extremely rare in Ireland. Acquaintances with whom you'd go to the pub all the time or otherwise socialize (or just work with) will talk all about their insights about you or note your mannerisms, attire, etc. to everyone else and this feedback never returns to you personally. So if you don't want to be the subject of conjecture and analysis, you always have to show up at the pub so they can't talk about you. I find this insidious, frustrating, and frankly, rude.
I know, it also happens in some other European countries. But these are not lies, it's hypocrisy or "talking behind people's back". I think it's more common in Western country than in Japan, while white lies are much more common in Japan.

This is the conflict to which I was trying to refer in my last post. If people aren't telling the truth on TV, how can they truly reflect the "national consciousness": if someone says what they think they are expected to say rather than what they really think - the "tatemae" - then wouldn't they just be parroting what they perceive society is wishing them to behave rather than how they would, in real life, behave?)
It's not really a conflict, it's just that I didn't take enough time to explain what kind of things people usually don't say on TV. If you ask people about their opinion of foreigners, or their political ideas or what they would define as good behaviour, they will usually answer pretty much the same. They will also rarely say that they dislike such or such celebrity so as not to create tensions or negative feelings. But when it comes to talking sex, the Japanese are surprisingly uninhibited. So much that if they managed to talk like that about politics or education, lot's of problems would be solved. The talk about sex are not the educational type, but almost always the perverted kind or about marriage, divorce and "uwaki". Never have I seen a country so eager to talk about "uwaki", perverted sex, marriage and divorce on TV or in social occasions (between friends, colleagues...) than Japan. Maybe that is also why hostess bar (where customers usually talk about sex-related topics) are so popular in Japan, or why all convenience stores' shelves are filled half with porn/erotic magazines and these mags are advertised inside all train lines. Sex, along with food, is a favourite discussion topic in Japan.