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Thread: Radical difference between East and West regarding relationships and marriage

  1. #51
    Regular Member neko_girl22's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Enfour
    Ahem... I think the main issue with the bathing question is that while families all use the same bath water, it is NOT because they are all jumping in the bath together at the same time.

    Yes fathers and daughter use the same bathwater. The bath is filled at around 6pm and it stays in the bath until all the family have had their baths - usually IN TURNS.
    Using the same bath water grosses you out? It might sound terrible but really it's not that bad. Because they do all there scrubbing and washing outside the bath , the bath water is used only to relax in - just like an onsen.
    I once had the last bath while staying with a family of 5. The water was fine!
    (btw, as the guest I would normally bathe first, but I came home late.)

  2. #52
    Hentai Koutaishi Lina Inverse's Avatar
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    I'll have to say that the Japanese system makes perfect sense to me
    Should I ever marry, it will be for the sole purpose of having children.
    I absolutely can't imagine to restrict my love to a single person for my entire life

  3. #53
    Regular Member ippolito's Avatar
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    We normally treat women with sentiments and we (italians) are genarally romantic
    of course not all we also have bad guys.....but I know many cases thet jp an kr
    girls that came here and never go back home....and married or have a realtions with italians......we love women and we love to that they feel women....in many ways

    I had in the past some relations with jp girls i found them very kind and lovely
    sometime a little cold as never know what they are thinking .....
    meawhile i was an open book.....for them......this was a point for them ....
    have a good day all.....
    Ippolito

  4. #54
    Junior Member cristiand's Avatar
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    Right Ippolito, that s why many jp girls dream of an european man, look for him and find him.
    It like a kind of reverse Veni Vidi Vici of your ancient co-citizen.
    The only thing we have to do is to generalize millions and millions of couples, of minds of experiences in a simple easy reading receipt.
    Japanese are so and so that s why so and so
    Caucasian are so and so and so and testosterone high and testosterone low.
    It s so difficult to understand the person we share our life with, to understand ourselves and we pretend to understand entire countries mentalities.
    mmmm very difficult.....
    I have a relation with a japanese woman and i agree with some of the things that have been written here but i saw so many radical differences

  5. #55
    Emperor Gakihito Gaki's Avatar
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    The only thing i know that's different is about "Western" and Chinese weddings, where "Western" marriages the bride's parents pays for the wedding (from what i've heard) and in Chinese Wedding the groom tends to pay everything and usually gives lucky money to the bride's parents as well.
    I Live In Your Toilet, Smells Bad In Here...

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  6. #56
    Where I'm Supposed to Be kirei_na_me's Avatar
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    Same in Japan. I guess that was something else they got from China? I know in Japan, the groom's parents are also supposed to pay for the wedding and give money to the bride's family.
    i carry your heart with me(i carry it in my heart)

  7. #57
    Twirling dragon Maciamo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gaki
    The only thing i know that's different is about "Western" and Chinese weddings, where "Western" marriages the bride's parents pays for the wedding (from what i've heard) and in Chinese Wedding the groom tends to pay everything and usually gives lucky money to the bride's parents as well.
    I am sorry, but it seems a bit hasty to say "Western countries" here. Traditionally it is like that in England (even though expenses tend to be divided between both parties nowadays), but it is not the case in Belgium and possibly France and other countries. So that could just be in English-speaking countries, and not even in all cases.

    Quote Originally Posted by kirei_na_me
    Same in Japan. I guess that was something else they got from China? I know in Japan, the groom's parents are also supposed to pay for the wedding and give money to the bride's family.
    I have never heard about that. Usually nowadays, the guests pay everything as they have to pay a fixed amount of money (usually 10.000 to 30.000yen in Tokyo, depending on the formality of the party, but I heard it could be over 100.000yen in some regions). That replaces the gift and pays for all the wedding's expenses.

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  8. #58
    Where I'm Supposed to Be kirei_na_me's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maciamo
    I have never heard about that. Usually nowadays, the guests pay everything as they have to pay a fixed amount of money (usually 10.000 to 30.000yen in Tokyo, depending on the formality of the party, but I heard it could be over 100.000yen in some regions). That replaces the gift and pays for all the wedding's expenses.
    Oh, wow. That's interesting, indeed. I guess it's getting more modernized/progressive(don't know what term is best?) now? In Tokyo, anyway? Every Japanese person I've ever known has told me about the groom's family paying for the wedding and giving a gift of money to the bride's family. Of course, most all the Japanese people I've known are from the country(Gifu area) and tend to be a little more traditional and conservative than people I've met who were from Tokyo.

    When my best friend got married, her husband's family gave her family enough money that they were able to take a 2 month long trip to S. Korea, Hong Kong, Hawaii, etc. They didn't waste any time. They left the same time the newlyweds left for their honeymoon...

  9. #59
    Regular Member jolan's Avatar
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    Very interesting topic, thanks everybody. I don't have anything to say... In my opinion, I would never marry a Japanese girl simply because I would never marry someone. I don't believe in mariage, Asian or Western...

    But who knows? I'm very influencable.... Well I think before saying yes, I'd just check i'm not in Nagoya lol!

  10. #60
    Where I'm Supposed to Be kirei_na_me's Avatar
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    Good thinking, jolan. My advice to anyone single: Never get married!

  11. #61
    Traveler of eternity dreamer's Avatar
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    Lol good advice
    A friend of mine got married and he's hell regretting it now
    One of the most adventurous things left for us is to go to bed. For no one can lay a hand on our dreams....

  12. #62
    Regular Member ippolito's Avatar
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    Well in Itay we have the presents list...the couple gives a list to a big shop
    of presents that could be useful....eg. color tv with dvd washer etc....
    this to avoid to receive like in the past the same presents twice or 3 times
    but we still accept the the "envelope" with money inside....
    normally the couple pays for the lunch church flowers etc....if both work
    and are in the position to spend some money ...here we do not have the habitude to rent marriage dresses....we buy.....and remain with us all the life...
    meanwhile parentes of both help to buy a house...but in the recent years there are many young couples that leave in parents house as cannot buy or rent an house...and here no many children like in the past......we are now at grow 0 the number of new babies is the same of deaths....is not very positive......sign.....
    hello to all
    Ippolito

  13. #63
    Emperor Gakihito Gaki's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maciamo
    I am sorry, but it seems a bit hasty to say "Western countries" here. Traditionally it is like that in England (even though expenses tend to be divided between both parties nowadays), but it is not the case in Belgium and possibly France and other countries. So that could just be in English-speaking countries, and not even in all cases.
    That's why i put Western in "..." marks... (-_-' )

    I never said ALL WESTERN COUNTRIES, in fact i never used the word "countries".

  14. #64
    Regular Member ippolito's Avatar
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    I am agree with Gaki in western there are so many differences between our life
    and us or Beligium or Danimark etc.....probably it is between Japan and Thailand or
    Philippines....
    Ippolito

  15. #65
    Now it's me yimija's Avatar
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    Heart good advice

    Quote Originally Posted by kirei_na_me
    Good thinking, jolan. My advice to anyone single: Never get married!
    well, it seems so, anyway.
    With my tremedous experience (?!?!?) I can't be of any help excepted with the saying of a well known chinese philosopher : don't get into easythings, they usually are the hardest one to come out of...
    good luck anyway.

    to jolan :
    you said : In my opinion, I would never marry a Japanese girl simply because I would never marry someone. I don't believe in mariage, Asian or Western...

    you never know, one of those marvelouse little japanese doll (a real one, I mean) could well make you change your mind, all right. It's not a shame, but think twice and give her all your love anyway, even if you don't get married.
    Just little me!!! But maybe a little taller

    You grow up, every day. Every second...

  16. #66
    Where I'm Supposed to Be kirei_na_me's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by yimija
    well, it seems so, anyway.
    With my tremedous experience (?!?!?) I can't be of any help excepted with the saying of a well known chinese philosopher : don't get into easythings, they usually are the hardest one to come out of...
    good luck anyway.
    And it is so true...*sigh*

  17. #67
    Regular Member ippolito's Avatar
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    To jolan

    About marriage....I had 2 wife........and long stories...
    I am agree to be free....but now perhaps you are young when you will older
    perhpas you will need to stop and have only one woman near you...expecially in difficolt moments...
    But anyone has his experiences positive and negative..
    Do not look only on exterior and phisical aspect perhaps a nice gentle japanese
    woman or korean could give you much more that a wonderful western woman
    is the inside the most important thing..not only externally.....
    i had so many problems with some italian nice girls that you cannot image
    and receive love and kindness from oriental girls (Japan and Korea)
    But everybody has his point of view about this agroment.....depence of the
    exepriences
    bye
    Ippolito

  18. #68
    Now it's me yimija's Avatar
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    Heart I agree Ippolito

    [QUOTE=ippolito]To jolan

    About marriage....I had 2 wife........and long stories...
    I am agree to be free....but now perhaps you are young when you will older
    perhpas you will need to stop and have only one woman near you...expecially in difficolt moments...
    But anyone has his experiences positive and negative..
    Do not look only on exterior and phisical aspect perhaps a nice gentle japanese
    woman or korean could give you much more that a wonderful western woman
    is the inside the most important thing..not only externally.....
    i had so many problems with some italian nice girls that you cannot image
    and receive love and kindness from oriental girls (Japan and Korea)
    But everybody has his point of view about this agroment.....depence of the
    exepriences

    I tend to agree with you, I had some problems with an italian girl, too. But 2 marriage Ippolito ? Your are like Blue Beard, he ??? LOL, No the number is not important, as long as you loved them, even if it turned out the "wrong way".
    As for your age, dont tell me you are over 80 ? That's old. If you are less than 80, then you are still young. No worries,like Einstein used to say, time is just an illusion... But I hope you are happy now with your korean wife (is she N 3, you monster ????) re-LOL

  19. #69
    Regular Member jolan's Avatar
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    I meaned I have a (non japanese)girl friend, I don't know yet if we can plan something, but I'm sure I don't want to be married. That doesn't mean I don't want to live with someone one day or that I don't want to have child. No I think marriage is something you have to believe in, something that mean something for you. For me, it doesn't mean anything else that law obligation, society pressure, non-thinking-and-doing-it-the-common-way. I don't want to feel oppressed by the surrounding society, that because I'm married I should do things like this and not like this. You may think I act like a teenager rebelling himself against society and so on, but this is not the case. My background, my education have been building as it does happen foe everybody on earth, a certain way of thinking, a system of value which I tend to refer to. According to mine, marriage means strictly nothing. Hopefully my girlfriend thinks the same!
    My parents aren't married, and they haven't face any kind of matter (except me, of course!) so far.

  20. #70
    Regular Member ippolito's Avatar
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    not not 80s

    No i am 53 not so old as you wrote...so you had problems with an italian girl too i supposed you were a girl....
    anyway the prolems are not finished....it is a long story not for a forum..
    i
    so how was the italian girl? She was nice? [
    bye bye
    Ippolito san




    QUOTE=yimija]
    Quote Originally Posted by ippolito
    To jolan

    About marriage....I had 2 wife........and long stories...
    I am agree to be free....but now perhaps you are young when you will older
    perhpas you will need to stop and have only one woman near you...expecially in difficolt moments...
    But anyone has his experiences positive and negative..
    Do not look only on exterior and phisical aspect perhaps a nice gentle japanese
    woman or korean could give you much more that a wonderful western woman
    is the inside the most important thing..not only externally.....
    i had so many problems with some italian nice girls that you cannot image
    and receive love and kindness from oriental girls (Japan and Korea)
    But everybody has his point of view about this agroment.....depence of the
    exepriences

    I tend to agree with you, I had some problems with an italian girl, too. But 2 marriage Ippolito ? Your are like Blue Beard, he ??? LOL, No the number is not important, as long as you loved them, even if it turned out the "wrong way".
    As for your age, dont tell me you are over 80 ? That's old. If you are less than 80, then you are still young. No worries,like Einstein used to say, time is just an illusion... But I hope you are happy now with your korean wife (is she N 3, you monster ????) re-LOL

  21. #71
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    Quote Originally Posted by nzueda
    Using the same bath water grosses you out? It might sound terrible but really it's not that bad. Because they do all there scrubbing and washing outside the bath , the bath water is used only to relax in - just like an onsen.
    I once had the last bath while staying with a family of 5. The water was fine!
    (btw, as the guest I would normally bathe first, but I came home late.)
    Just imagine the monthly water bill if you had to fill the tub 5 times each night!

  22. #72
    Now it's me yimija's Avatar
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    Heart showers...

    Quote Originally Posted by Golgo_13
    Just imagine the monthly water bill if you had to fill the tub 5 times each night!
    take a shower, two by two. it'll save water, soap and time...

  23. #73
    Where I'm Supposed to Be kirei_na_me's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by yimija
    take a shower, two by two. it'll save water, soap and time...
    That sounds good to me...hehe

    I still love my baths, though. I wish I had a huge tub...

  24. #74
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    all you people keep talking about the differences between the two (westerners japanese). there might be many differences in culture, but there is one common reason why two people stay together...love
    Marriage is just a document. I could buy my girlfriend a ring and live with her and stay in her bed forever. Its not the same as marriage?

  25. #75
    Now it's me yimija's Avatar
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    Heart a bed ??

    Quote Originally Posted by rinawoaishiteiru
    all you people keep talking about the differences between the two (westerners japanese). there might be many differences in culture, but there is one common reason why two people stay together...love
    Marriage is just a document. I could buy my girlfriend a ring and live with her and stay in her bed forever. Its not the same as marriage?
    Yes, you do that, buy her a ring, but try to get OUT of her bed from time to time, there is a little housekeeping to be done outside !!!!!
    lol.
    but of course, I think you are basically right !!!

    Quote Originally Posted by kirei_na_me
    That sounds good to me...hehe

    I still love my baths, though. I wish I had a huge tub...
    Not only it sounds good but I assure you it feels good, too !!!

    Never tryied ?? if not, make the proposal to dear hubby (once the kids are with grand'ma... mainly because of the "splashing around", we dont want the little marvels to be drowned....).

    As for me (and that will NOT interrest anyone) I have never taken a bath in a bathtub in all my life (that I can remember) but only shower and that at least twice a day (yes, yes, I smell OK).

    Quote Originally Posted by ippolito
    No i am 53 not so old as you wrote...so you had problems with an italian girl too i supposed you were a girl....
    anyway the prolems are not finished....it is a long story not for a forum..
    i
    so how was the italian girl? She was nice? [
    bye bye
    Ippolito san

    QUOTE=yimija]
    Yes Ippolito san you're 1'000'000 times right :
    I am a girl, and yes I had problems with a girl .

    Is there anything that does'nt tally ? You know ? a woman can love another woman. It does happen, and that is the story of my life...

    As for the Italian girl, she was an adorable Venezian woman. Her big problem was (still is probably) that she wanted too many things that <i could not / would not give her. You see, nothing so extraordinary ! Have a beautifull week Ipolito, take care of my sister, please and look well after yourself, too.

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