I know what you are talking about. I was born in an upper middle class family (although I do have upper class relatives), but went to a school where a sizeable portion of the people were really upper-class, and I learned to know how hypocritical and snobbish some of them can be. But I'd say there are two kinds of upper-classes:
1) those who try to live above their means and pretend to like things they don't care for (e.g. classical music). These are the people you described. These are mostly social unfit, who were born upper-class but whose personality does not fit in the upper-class values. They are only pretending. These are the people who go to classical music concerts, but cannot tell Brahms from Schumann apart (I chose two contemporary composers on purpose). These are people who talk about philosophy but don't have any ideas of their own, and in fact don't understand a thing about philosophy. Just pretending, but actually making a fool of themselves when meeting people from the second group...
2) These are people who are genuinely upper-class by nature. These people usually don't care much about 'show-off' social gathering. Usually they are real intellectuals, who care about their job or have a deep passion for some academic subjects. It also includes some landed lords who have nothing to prove, do not need to work, but have a genuine passion for learning (people like Winston Churchill).
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