Hey Genki,

I liked reading your response, and i must agree with you with what you wrote that it seems that way, there is alot of unwritten rules that i just don't get. My main questions/irks were "why do you let your father boss me around?" "Why can't i go outside by myself even when YOU suggested it and your father won't let me?", "why is it not okay to read the magazine at the table while your father is cooking?" (because it's such a rare moment in history???), etc etc. Some of the reasons i could guess...but it has seemed so annoying to me a times when in those situations and coming from somewhere where an offer to do housework is an offer of help, not an insult into your ability to do the housework.

What I don't understand is why these houses were built without a sento in the first place when a public bath was not within walking distance. Does anyone have any insight as to why?
Ok, i just had a deep and meaningful with my husband and it seems i was kept in the dark. So i apologise for saying something that has been the wrong thing.

Apparently the nearest onsen is 15 minutes walk away, BUT, no one took me there, hubby included because they assumed i would not want to bathe with others. Instead everytime we go, we go to Obihiro for sento which has "family baths" in that it is separate little baths that two or more can use without mixing with strangers. And i've also just been told that it's also an onsen which hubby says "is a real sento". Grrr. All this time and nobody has asked me, just assumed. Yes, before you say anything the shoe is definitely on the other foot right now!

Sorry for the confusion people, but i have to say, joining this forum has been good for me as it's led me to question quite a lot and get answers to my questions, and if i hadn't, i would still be walking around thinking i know this, when i don't! Certainly an eye opener.

Sorry pachipro if i sent you on a wild goose hunt with your wife, my apologies.

Hearing about your girlfriend makes me cringe, but on the other hand, i feel i can sympathise with her "why the hell should it be so hard to get a refill?" As you know i'm still a learner big time, and i can see both points.