Maciamo, it sounds to me like your issue is not with your wife personally but the societal values that she was brought up in. Only you and she can be sure about how likely it is that she may cheat on you. Presumably she can't be called "typical" of all Japanese (if generalization were valid, which it actually isn't) - she's already "different" enough to have married you, someone from outside of Japanese culture, with your particular set of values and clearly defined comfort zone.
Incidentally, ALL my interests (and my ways of analyzing situations and making decisions, which are very INTJ) match my husband's exactly. But do I need to be a modeller, as my husband is? Does he need to be fluent in Japanese and well-versed in classical music as I am? Not necessarily. However, they are hobbies we can both indulge in, in the same room, but separately - we "share" quality time but doing different things. Your "utopian" notion of being "the same" is something I made a prerequisite towards marriage (though not towards relationships in general; I've learned a lot from dating people very different to me). I think while it may be a challenge to find a partner who mirrors all your passions and hobbies, it's not impossible - it's a big world out there.
If you can't sit down with your wife and really talk about these issues (I'm not saying you haven't tried, it's just that it seems to me you haven't arrived at a resolution), then it is a major obstacle in maintaining a healthy marriage. She is only partly responsible for making you feel secure in her faithfulness - you have to trust in your ability to discern who she is fundamentally, and not be swayed by the friends and peers she may have who are obviously not identical to her. If you can't do that... well, I'm sad about your situation.
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