Why are Japanese women either in a hurry to get married or just don't
Although the average age of marriage has been steadily increasing in Japan as in most Western countries, it is often obvious to those with female Japanese friends in their late teens or twenties that a lot of them do talk a lot about marriage, and seem only to wish to get married as soon as possible.
People seem to be getting married later because of economic reason.
Japanese women are still required by most companies to quit their job once they get married or have a child. So getting married later is the option for those who want a carreer or just enjoy getting a salary on their own to spend it on brand clothes and accessories, or travels (something they can afford as many stay with their family until getting married).
One reason marriage is important in Japan is that nobody would think of having children without being married. Japanese law does not recognise the father of a child born of un non married couple, and as women are socially discourage from working after having a child, marriage is the only solution.
The BBC's following article attempts to shed light on why Japanese women's dilema regarding marriage.
BBC News : Japan's women wary to wed
Quote:
Originally Posted by BBC News
But its success seems as much due to a rejection of marriage as a new-found love for the canine.
"There are lots of women who have dogs as their family or child," said Rie Shimozono, the shop's owner. "They carry the dog in a bag so that they are always spending time with it."
Are dogs replacing babies as people get married later ? Instinct and hormonal urges seem to push Japanese women (and men, to a lesser extent) to buy dogs and raise them as if they were their own babies. Rare are the dogs in Tokyo that do not have their clothes for cold weather walks. In my experience, dogs never sleep outside in Tokyo (no garden anyway), and more often than not sleep in their owner's bed (the same way as babies and small children sleep in their parents' bed in Japan).
Dogs are certainly a substitute for those who can't or don't want to have children. But why wouldn't they if they feel such hormonal urges ?
Quote:
Originally Posted by BBC News
Their husbands work long hours; child care is limited; baby sitters are expensive; and if women decide to work part-time, they are paid less than half that of a full-time worker.
Quote:
Yumiko said she wanted to get married, but only if she "found a nice guy". She said she had a boyfriend, but did not see him as marriage material. "It's fun to play with him but I don't think he's reliable enough as a husband. Sometimes he can't make decisions."
This is a typical case. Japanese girls like having sex (more freely than their Western counterpart), but the strict social norms regarding marriage push them to seek very reliable ("tayorigai ga aru") husbands, which in Japanese means have a stable job, sufficient income and willingness to pay for all the family might need, including the wife's hobbies and shopping, as long as she has to care about the house and children and can't work.
Reliable often only means "rich and generous", and not minding working till midnight if necessary, while the wife can meet friends, do shopping, eat at restaurants or watch TV during that time. No wonder that few Japanese men are seen as "reliable" (even in a sado-maso culture like Japan :p ). But no wonder too that when Japanese women do find a reliable partner, they only wish to get married. As the BBC says :
Quote:
Originally Posted by BBC News
"Japanese women tend to be very practical and very pragmatic. What are the benefits of getting married?"
That is exactly that. If they can find a caring husband that will pay for everything while they only have to care about the house (which they have to do if they live by themselves anyway), that surely is interesting. If they can be assured that they will be able to have children (which most of them long for) instead (or rather in addition) of a dog and not have to worry about money, few are the ones that would refuse such a "golden package". But as Japanese women are growing more exigent about their financial needs, gradually used to luxury goods, it's only natural that they are having a hard time finding suitable husbands, and so many prefer not to get married at all - for fear of sacrificing their priviledge life.
It is an Economic Decision and the clock is ticking....
My friend is an American guy and found out that his Japanese wife is already married to another guy - She never got divorced from her first husband!!!!
It was purely an Economic decision for her - The new husband had more money.
My friend met her and married her in Japan and had registered with the local government office as required in Japan. However, the Japanese wife as it turned out had been married to another man in the US. This US marriage was a legally recognized marriage in Japan, consequently, according to Japanese law, she was guilty of a crime, bigamy.
Eventually the American guy had to enagage legal help, which took an incredible amount of time and money that he had to pay to get the mess sorted out. He had to engage both US and Japanese legal counsel and ended up in Japanese family court.
My friend was uncharacteristically naive and was taken advantage by this girl looking to meet a well off foriegn guy. The word is that this Japanese woman is back out looking for the next guy, so please BE CAREFUL!
