View Full Version : 40% of Japanese women don't expect spouses to help with childcare

Mar 11, 2004, 15:34
Gender roles are still very much part of everyday life in Japan. At home, women have almost total responsability of the children. The survey made by Bandai Corporation reports that most Japanese women do not expect much from their husbands in their children's education and rearing. When asked what they expected their husbands to do :

- 6.8% wanted their husbands to put the children to bed
- 10.5% wanted the men to bathe the children
- 12.1% wanted their spouses to play with the kids
- 38.7% answered "nothing in particular" (that is, "nothing at all")

In short, 68,1% of the mothers surveyed do no expect more than basic, menial tasks, or for the bigger half of these, nothing at all, from their husbands. When we know that bathing is considered a relaxing family activity in Japan (fathers regularily take baths with their sons and daughters till their teenage years), it is hardly a chore to do it. I'd say it is at the same level as playing.

It is appalling to me that fathers do not see the need to educate their offspring. The most consequential responsability that spring to mind in matter of child rearing, dare I say before even material satisfaction, is the intellectual and behavioural education, including giving the taste to learn, to achieve, to exploit one's capabilities, open one's mind to the world and to interract with people in society. The role of any parent, father or mother, is to give the tools or mindset to their children to become successful individual in life whatever their dreams, personality or interest. Any parent that fails or ommit to do this is a bad parent. My opinion is that any problem in the world is firstly caused by irresponsible parents (those who have chidlren without having the material or intellectual means to achieve the aforementioned).

Here is the source article :

Yahoo Asia News

40% of Japanese women don't expect spouses to help with childcare

Nearly 40% of Japanese women with young children do not expect their husbands to take part in parenting activities, according to a survey conducted by toy maker Bandai Co. released Thursday.
The survey asked 2,000 women with children to list what parenting duties they wanted their husbands to shoulder. The largest group of women, or 38.7%, answered "nothing in particular," Bandai said.

The second largest group of women, or 12.1%, wanted their spouses to play with the kids, while the third largest group at 10.5% wanted the men to bathe the children. The fourth largest group at 6.8% wanted their husbands to put the children to bed.

When asked to list what parenting jobs their husbands already do, 52.6% said their spouses give children baths, while 17.6% said their husbands play with the children.

Meanwhile, 12.0% of the respondents' husbands did not help in parenting duties.

"The survey results suggest that women want their husbands to look after the children while they are doing housework, rather than wanting the men to take part in childcare activities regularly," a Bandai spokesman said.

The survey was conducted mainly through the Internet in September last year on 1,000 mothers of girls and 1,000 with boys.

Apr 5, 2004, 20:17
Looks like some fathers think their jobs are more important than their kids. Sure, you need to bring rice to the table but I have heard some men only see their kids on the weekends. I couldn't do that, no matter how important my job was. When you raise kids that way, they are going to raise their kids the same way. They probably don't know any better. And women don't demand more because they don't know they should or they don't want to go against tradition. Fortunately the attitudes are changing... slowly but changing.

I personally want to spend all the time I can with my kids when I have them. I have planned so much to teach and show them. Kids are the most important responsibility.

Apr 5, 2004, 22:35
Exactly my thoughts, never will my job be more important than my kids or even my wife for that fact. Kid's, and your immediate family are the most important things to one in life, then comes your job.

Eternal Wind
Apr 27, 2004, 22:20
But job and family are both important too...

Aug 10, 2004, 03:40
I would certainly want to be very active in my child's life. Rearing the child is both of the parents' responsibility. Besides, you would miss so much! I just don't understand it, I guess.

Aug 10, 2004, 07:27
Exactly my thoughts, never will my job be more important than my kids or even my wife for that fact. Kid's, and your immediate family are the most important things to one in life, then comes your job.

no job=no money
no money=no food
no food=starving kids...

they can't eat comfort and love... sometimes priorities aren't as black and white as they seem.

Uncle Frank
Aug 10, 2004, 07:46
Here in the US, most families were the same, until the late 50's. When the husband came home from work Monday - Friday, he pretty much wanted the kids kept out of his way. Saturday & Sunday had time set aside for the family, if dad didn't take off fishing, hunting, etc. .It was up to mom to handle school, church, and extra activities. Since mom was home all day and "NOT" working hard like poor hubby, the kids and home-making were her worries.Some men still have that attitude today.



Aug 10, 2004, 08:16
Something cracks me up here.

There a NOVA lesson about a Monday Morning.

A man and his wife are aguing about who will be busier that day. The man, who is going to work, or the owmen, who is staying at home to do chores and look after the kids.

A fun game, especially with Salarymen is to explain the picture and read a short part of the text and ask them who they think will work harder that day. The man or the women. 99% of the time the salarymen say the man. No questions. Then read the text and the couples differing daily schedules.
The schedules that say the man has a few hour long lunch and drinks amrtinis with news reporters. Where he doesn't do SQUAT.

The onw where the wife is cleaning all day, driving over half of town to get kids and o shopping, cooking dinner yadda yadda yadda.

Then ask who is busiest. Its VERY funny getting the salarymen (or occasional old timer women) to justify why they think the man has the harder day.

But is also indicative of the prevalent beliefs regarding gender roles.